I'm tired

Of living in fear..

I seriously need to stop

I need to stop expecting so much from him. There is a woman that i despise that he is friends with & the thing about it is that they are also ex's. She has a reputation for being pretty much a slut. & the thing about that, is that she is actually proud of it. But anyway, he always tells me that he is not going to have anything to do with her anymore & that he is going to completely erase her from his life. But the problem with me is that, if he was willing to do anything for me & make me happy like he says he would, then he would literally DELETE her or erase her COMPLETELY from his life. To me, that would be including facebook & contacts etc. Pretty much just eliminating her from every spectrum of his life. Including facebook. I know that i ask too much & i always think that he will delete her completely from everything that has to do with her without me having to ask him. Also the pictures OF her in his wallet. It hurt's me that her pictures are still with him. Everything just about her just disgusts me. She even talked about me TO him saying how annoying i was & that i was getting on her nerves. After all that, you would think that he would just drop her. I even had a "really good friend" that i use to always be around with & talk to every single day. But at one point she just became a total bitch & just started talking about my boyfriend TO me. Saying how he doesn't put any effort into our relationship & that he doesn't know how to treat me right. He has honestly been the BEST person i have ever let into my life. After she just kept talking about him so negatively i dropped her out of my life because i love him that much. I just REALLY wish he would do the same for me. It just....it makes me feel like he doesn't want to let go of her. Like, he's not willing to do that for me. Like he doesn't love me as much as he says he does. Because if he really did love me as much as he says he does, he would do anything for me right? I just really really wish that he would. I would feel so much more comfortable that way. If only i could explain & say all of this to him. I think he would just think that i'm selfish. Pretty much my expectation from him is to make her extinct from his life but without me having to explain or ask him to do so.

Loving The Rain

It is currently raining where i am at the moment & i'm actually enjoying it. To be honest, i HATE rain but for some reason, i'm so excited that it is. Maybe it's because i actually bought winter/fall clothing. LOL! I'm a summer person. I LOVE the sun. But maybe because the "summer" was lingering on until now, i probably just got tired of it & actually wanted something different to happen? I don't know but, what i DO know is that i'm actually liking it. LOL! Have a nice day everyone & be safe!

New

Hello to anyone who is reading this, which probably is only me, LOL! I got really tired of tumblr..so i wanted to try this out. I love crocheting so if anyone knows about anyone who have free patterns please let me know :]
K thanks :]]